by Karen Flowers, Country Leader, Egypt
A father holds his child for the first time – a beautiful moment for all involved.
One of my greatest joys, and truly the focus of all that I do, is in creating an environment where a soon-to-be-father recognizes his new role. In this culture, where the importance of a father to the family is not stressed, taking part in the birth of his child bring new meaning to the idea of a father’s love. By teaching participation, his role becomes something he never expected. I’d like to share what one father wrote about the moment he met his child….
“When I first met my son, I thought I’d feel strong and proud. What I felt was very different than I expected. I felt humble, weak, in need of someone to lean on. My own father had been very distant and controlling. I wanted something more for my son. I didn’t want anyone to see, but I could not stop the tears. I was relieved that there were no complications with the birth, and my wife and baby were healthy.”
The bond between this father and his son is unbreakable.
“But, then, after the relief, while the doctor was checking my wife, Karen laid this tiny person on my bare chest. He had so much hair, tiny fingers and oh, what a voice! He moved his tiny head to scream at the brightness of this new world, so different from where he had spent the past months.”
“That’s when I felt the terror. I loved my dad but I knew he wasn’t perfect. Now, I am holding my own son. I hated the idea that I was so much like my own dad. I do not ever want to lose my temper with this beautiful baby boy. This tiny creature who will depend on me for almost everything.”
“Finally, it hit me….this is true uncomplicated love. The kind of love that doesn’t matter if it is returned or recognized. This love was so big, I could hardly breathe.”
“All these feelings, relief, amazement, terror and love filled every bit of me, and for that moment, the moment my son was born I looked at him, touched him and felt I was born too. I wasn’t just me anymore. I was a father, a parent. I looked at my son and wondered if this is what it felt like to be loved by God.”
Holding his baby was love at first sight
This new father is an engineer, very methodical. I was able to watch as all that went out the window to be replaced by something less tangible, but so much more emotional.
I truly love being a doula and childbirth instructor. I love being able to share how we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” The moment I place a tiny human in his father’s hands is a ‘high’ I will never get used to.
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